Who is Doris the Psychotic Housewife?

Hey there. I’m Doris. More than ten years ago, I quit my job as a life and financial adviser to become a full-time housewife.

In 2018? What are you thinking? You know you can have a career and kids now, right?

Well, first of all: Shut up. Second of all: It happened during the financial crisis in the mid-aughts. Third of all: Shut the hell up.

I left my high-earning position as a personal adviser to manage my home. My husband continues to work full-time, and we care for our children equally. I spend my days organizing and assessing our finances, doing home repairs, taking care of kid-related tasks, and ranting on the Internet about things I don’t like. I’m part financial consultant, part construction worker, part nanny, and part teenage dirtbag. Welcome to my blog.

I quit my job in early 2007, and the timing could not have been more perfect. The industry was about to collapse, and for the first time in years, I saw a way out. Here’s the thing about working as an adviser: you do what you can to make people’s lives easier, but they very rarely listen. I’d been in the field for five or six years, and I felt like I was going nowhere. I’d spend hours analyzing data and preparing pitches only to have clients disregard my council entirely. It was infuriating. If some of my clients had listened to me, they wouldn’t have lost their jobs, they might not have lost their homes, and they likely would have been able to retire on time.

So, when the housing market crashed and the banks failed, I took the opportunity to leave my professional life behind. I was recently-married, and we were trying to start a family, so the timing worked out great. After popping out a few kids, I began to assume a more fulfilling role in my life. No, not as a mom, but of course that’s a great experience. I took the reins in nearly every aspect of my and my husband’s life—finances, the house, nutrition, you fricking name it, I figured it out. I now see myself as a personal adviser and home manager. Housewife just sound more catchy, don’t you think?